On Being a Sore Loser

Among the things in this world that are annoying, sore losers have got to be among the top candidates for such an award.  They pout when they lose a turn, cry when they don't get their way, and become infuriated when their "master plans" are foiled.  On the other hand, they get rather cocky when things seem to be going their way, a fact which spurns even the most level headed of gamers and make them want to knock the little gloater down a few notches.

I'm sure we've all had the pleasure of participating in a scenario such as this:  The game starts out fun and everything seems to be going great.  All the pieces are accounted for, everyone is taking their turns in an efficient amount of time, and hey you're even winning.  But then disaster strikes!  Things take a turn for the worse when you realize that you're friend of five years isn't as even tempered as you'd like to think.  Suddenly, they become a raving banshee bent on destroying your battleships in anyway necessary. They'll even cry if they have to; big fat sloppy tears that always seem to disappear when your friend begins to win again.

It makes playing games with them torture if you're not of the trolling variety (in which case it's just plain fun).  You can't exactly tell them that.  They'll find reason to take offense, and then you'll have an even bigger problem on your hand.  No, you'll suffer through the thirty minutes of pure unadulterated agony.  After the game is over you'll politely refuse playing any further games with that particular friend.

All that to say, sore losers jeopardize the enjoyment of any situation.

Why do I bring this up?

It has come to my attention that I, Shannon Lanier, am a big fat sore loser.  It's frustrating becasue I used to never get upset about losing anything.  In fact, I was always the one who counseled other people in ways NOT to be a sore loser.  Oh wait, that's right, back then I hardly ever lost.  I would always play with my younger cousins, and you can imagine what kind of a challenge they were.  Even if I played with people my own age I generally made first or second place; rarely ever resting my feet on that lowly third place pedestal.  If I sound arrogant, that's because I secretly am.

Now that I'm older, and I'm playing games with people who are either on the same skill level as me or above it, I seem to be losing a lot.  Unlike in video games, I can't simply restart the match until I win.  It doesn't work like that.  There are no redo's.

How do I fight my inner urge to pout and get angry every time I lose?  That's a good question.  I'm not entirely sure what the answer is yet, but I know I've made a step in the right direction by acknowledging I have a problem.

A few things to remember:

• Games are games, they're made to have FUN
• Games cease being fun when someone makes it into something necessarily serious
• No one avidly enjoys playing anything with a sore loser
• Friends will avoid playing games with you if you are one
• Games can be replayed, you'll have plenty of chances to win
• Unless the winner gets a million dollars, it's honestly nothing to get upset about

I'm going to do some more soul searching, but I want my friends to promise me a few things.  If I ever behave in such a way that makes a game less fun to play, PLEASE let me know.  Maybe whisper it in my ear or something non confrontational.  Also, don't change your playing style in order to avoid upsetting me.  That just makes me sad because then I realize what a party pooper I really am.

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What are your experiences with sore losers?

I remember my first experience was when I was pretty young.  I was playing a tennis game on some person's dream cast with my cousin.  I'd never played a sports game before in my LIFE, but I was somehow winning almost every single match.  My cousin grew progressively more and more frustrated with me until he go to the point that he was literally crying.  I had to stop playing the game and explain to him that it wasn't fun anymore, and if he couldn't change his attitude I wasn't going to play with him at all (I was a mature little 8 year old).  He realized he was being a cry baby and stopped.  He even shook my hand and said good game when we decided we were finished (even though I could see the contempt in his eyes).

Realizing that I do the same thing now really makes me sad.  I don't ever want anyone to have to put up with such rude and inexcusable behavior.  I'm going to work on it, I promise guys.